McSweeney's Monologues

McSweeney's has these great "Short Imagined Monologues" that I just discovered because of the funniest-guy-at-GPG Adam Goldstein. There are tons of them, but some of my favorites are: A Mail Carrier Realizes That a Family's Netflix Movie Has Yet to Be Returned; It Was I Who Flipped Over the Risk Board Last Night; A Pep Talk for the New Pair of Shorts I Will Wear Every Day This Summer.